Mentorship matters: Building relationships that shape your grad school success

Connection and community may not be the first two words that you associate with graduate studies. However, this is a period rife with challenge, growth and change – and this is precisely why community is paramount to graduate students. Nurturing your academic journey is not something you can accomplish alone: it takes a village to “raise” a PhD student. We are witness to how mentorship can beautifully build this village as it creates spaces for mentees to feel seen, heard and supported. 

A mentor is an important part of your community and your network. Let’s start by defining what we mean by these two ideas. First, a community is an ecosystem of human interactions for the purpose of investing in each other as people. These exchanges serve to nurture the mentee rather than follow a prescribed agenda. A mentor, whether a professor or professional outside of your lab or program, supports your transformation and development as an individual without expecting anything in return. In contrast, a network, usually comprised of a group of individuals, tends to focus on concrete and measurable goals such as connecting you to opportunities, either academic or career. Whether mentorship initially appeals to you for the interpersonal gains or for the more professional advancement opportunities, both are important and central to the mentorship experience. 

The three As of mentorship to help identify quality mentors  

Good mentorship, in an academic or a professional context, can be the difference between a successful graduate experience and one that you look back on with dread. But how do you know who is the right fit for you? We found the “three As” – courtesy of NSERC PROMOTE – a helpful guide in choosing a mentor:  

• available and accessible,  

• analytical and objective, and  

•  actively listens 

First, a quality mentor should be accessible, someone you can meet with regularly. Their accessibility might also help you hold yourself accountable and keep you motivated to meet your short-term goals. Remember: a graduate degree is a marathon, not a sprint. Second, a mentor should also be analytical and objective about your situation. They’ve experienced similar experiences and have made it to the other side. As such, they might evaluate your current situation, provide awareness or observations based on their past and offer specific advice. Lastly, an ideal mentor listens actively; they are fully present and attentive when you communicate, and they focus on and prioritize you during the conversation. Their intent is to understand and offer constructive feedback in non-judgmental ways. 

Being active and intentional are key to making the most of mentoring relationships  

Armed with the three As to search for a supportive mentor, we suggest making the most of the mentorship relationship by being pro-active and intentional. Don’t hesitate to take the lead and be the one to schedule meetings with your mentor. As an active participant, you can curate the atmosphere that you’re looking for, be it something more casual or professional. You may prefer to meet with your mentor remotely, through zoom or teams. Alternatively, going for lunch or coffee is a great way to have a casual and friendly in-person encounter. Meeting length and frequency is also something you control. We recommend setting a recurring monthly or bi-monthly date and keep meetings between one to two hours long. The beauty of it is, this is your relationship and you get to shape it according to what works best for you. 

Now that you’re meeting with your mentor, the next step is to be intentional. Being clear about what you are looking for and honest about your strengths and weaknesses will enable you to find a mentor who compliments your needs and can help you grow personally and professionally. On a personal level, you may want to discuss topics like work-life balance, relationships and personal milestones. If you’re more interested in a professional relationship, you can exchange career experiences, challenging work dynamics and seek advice about next steps in your career.  

In fact, in co-writing this column, Jessica changed the way she interacted with her mentor. Although she had found a mentor who embodied the three As and was active in regular meetings, Jessica lacked initiative. During their first meeting, she did not come with discussion points nor clarity about the desired outcomes from the mentorship relationship. This made for a slightly disjointed and admittedly awkward lunch. Luckily, her mentor was steadfast in her communication while Jessica reflected on different ways to engage and sought ideas from Lynn. Pivoting quickly, Jessica took the advice offered in this column and showed up to the next meetings with direct communication of what she was looking for and topics to discuss. The subsequent meetings have been fruitful from a professional perspective, and they have been heartwarming on a personal level. Mentorship is a safe and encouraging place to learn about ourselves through new perspectives and introspection.  

Seek opportunities outside of your current skillset  

Ready to build your village? Your department, graduate studies community or institution may have resources about how to connect with a mentor. Examples include the college of graduate mentorship at McGill University and the student life mentorship program at the University of Toronto. Information about opportunities is often sent directly to graduate students or promoted within one’s academic unit (be sure to check your emails). At the national level, discipline-specific programs like NSERC PROMOTE are valuable because they provide a framework for successful mentorship relationships. This program challenges trainees to participate in events that promote  the development of diverse skills, both interpersonal and professional. For instance, workshops range from emotional intelligence skills to CV writing for industry and academic jobs. The fact that the content is varied and covers both hard and soft skills helps keep graduate students current on professional tools.  

What we wish to leave you with from our time in NSERC PROMOTE is a sense of curiosity. We strongly encourage you to try new things and seek opportunities that help cultivate leadership, communication and community. Mentorship and personal development go hand in hand and during the marathon that is graduate school, we hope that you build a life that encompasses both professional and personal triumphs.