Why I decided not to pursue a PhD after completing my master’s
Some words of advice for those struggling with the decision to depart academia.

In April of last year, the CBC published a story that covered the experiences of various PhD students who had left their studies prematurely to pursue work outside of academia. Many of the students discussed the difficult choice to move on from their research and their resulting struggle to develop an identity outside of the university. The article hit home for me because I went through a similar experience earlier that year when, after finishing the course work required for my master’s degree, I decided to decline an offer of admission from a PhD program.
I never imagined I would end up turning away from the doctoral route, because I knew it was the only path that could lead me to landing my dream job at the time, which was to work as a tenured English professor. However, six months into my master’s, I began to think differently about my plans. The idyllic life of an academic that I craved so badly became less and less appealing. I lost interest in the constant pressure to specialize and read and write about topics that were steeped in more theory than practice. On a personal level, I had stopped sleeping every other night in order to meet deadlines while also developing an unhealthy food addiction to temporarily take my mind off the stress. Just as bad was that I felt extremely guilty whenever I interacted with my family, friends, or the first-year students that I taught because I was not using that time to read more, complete assignments, and write grant proposals.
After declining my offer, I soon went through a period of shame. I felt like I had disappointed my professors (whom I viewed as parental figures), especially those who had worked hard to write reference letters for me throughout the application process. This shame eventually morphed into fear when I soon came to the realization that for the first time in my life, I did not have a syllabus that laid out my future.
Over the past few months, I have been able to reflect more deeply about what is truly important to myself and, as a result, I have developed three principles that have helped me get through this difficult transition. These principles have provided me with a sense of direction while renewing my curiosity and thirst for knowledge.
1. Rest, recover, and reconnect
That’s right. It is okay to take a step back from the busyness of life, especially after leaving graduate school, to get your health and mind in order. “Take time off to slow down, to give yourself perspective, to break the cycle of incessant achievement, to get away from constant supervision, to see that there’s a world outside of school, [and] to develop skills and explore capacities you haven’t had a chance to cultivate,” William Deresciewicz, a former Yale professor who left the ivory tower, advises students entering the world outside of academia. For at least a month after leaving school, I recommend ignoring your family’s likely insistence to immediately market yourself and instead spend time pursuing interests that are or were once important to you. You may want to return to an old hobby you enjoyed pursuing before the pressures of university put it on the backburner. I spent the first few months after graduation getting back into practicing the piano and guitar. I soon realized how much meaning and happiness music provided me with in high school. As a result of the work I have put in, I am currently employed as a music teacher.
More importantly, work on getting your sleep and diet regulated again while also rekindling some of the relationships that were most likely ignored in graduate school. Go out on coffee dates with friends or your significant other, attend birthday parties for relatives, and simply try to be more present in your daily conversations.
2. Try something new
After taking time for self-care and reconnecting with those who are close to you, I recommend working or volunteering in a field that you would not have considered dabbling in before, especially if it is something that you previously believed was below you because of your educational background. While many of these opportunities may not require you to use the same type of thinking skills you developed in university, there is a good chance you will learn valuable lessons that will remain with you for a long time, even if it is simply putting yourself through an experience outside of your comfort zone. My first job after graduate school was teaching the fourth grade. While I had taught teenagers before, this job was very different from anything I had done in the past because I had never worked with such young students. It was a humbling experience because, though I have three university degrees, I realized how little I knew about topics covered in the fourth-grade curriculum, such as ancient civilizations and Impressionist painting. I was also inspired by how creative and worldly many of my students were.
3. Remember to focus on the process instead of the outcome
Since I left graduate school, I have gravitated towards Stoic philosophy. In particular, I really like thinkers like Seneca who stress the importance of engaging in fulfilling work and experiences on a daily basis instead of worrying about where they will directly lead you. When I was a student, I cared so much about pursuing experiences for the sake of gaining credentials. At the same time, I declined certain opportunities presented to me because I believed that they would not directly benefit me when it came to finding a job down the road. I have since tried my best to move away from this way of thinking. Going forward, I hope to slow down more to appreciate the journey that life takes me on instead of focusing so much on the destination.
I really want to reiterate that the above plan is not doctrine. You can follow or ditch my suggestions entirely. Just remember that if you are unclear about what you will be doing this coming fall, there are others out there in the same boat trying to figure things out for themselves. Life is filled with uncertainties, as well as, in the words of William Deresciewicz, “stumbles, inner struggle[s], false starts and wrong turns.” While one of the toughest parts of leaving graduate school is not having that guaranteed structure to fall back on come September, try embracing this new-found freedom and see it as an opportunity for personal growth. While I may not be enrolled in a PhD program like I thought I would be, I am still viewing these next four years as an educational experience that will serve as an intense period of self-discovery, an experience that may not have been afforded to me if I was still in graduate school.
Ryan Racine earned his master’s of English language and literature from Brock University. He is currently working as a high school teacher and college instructor in Ontario.
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13 Comments
Thanks for the write up. It was like a really mature conversation. I would want to talk to you, Ryan. Is that possible?
Amazing article! It struck a chord with me on so many levels, being myself somebody who decided against a PhD despite believing for a while that I really wanted to pursue a career in the academia. Thanks for sharing!
Great article. I left academia, with my Ph.D completed, and started teaching high school in 2002. I agree, you realize how little you know when you have to engage in some intensive reading just to teach a grade 11 class. I have a Ph.D in history, but I didn’t know a great deal about ancient Egypt, Greece, or Rome.
I also coach grade 4 Basketball…grad school certainly doesn’t prepare you for that.
Really great article Ryan! I think you capture much of what anyone changes career paths goes through. Thanks for sharing your story and best of luck!
Thank you sir for sharing your valuable experience. I am motivated. I am going through the same phase currently which you have described above. The column of yours, gives me a psychological boost that ” It is good to not follow the mass & create your own unique Identity”.
My masters in the late 70s/early 80s was a disaster. Without a proper supervisor the end result was extremely poor. But that’s not what made me turn away from academia. I always had a subliminal belief that ‘a real job’ was superior to academia. I was also discouraged because I didn’t feel other people in my course, and the field in general, were doing anything interesting or relevant.
Now, almost 40 years later, I’m back, hoping to do something like what I originally thought of doing. But it’s hard. Very hard. Yes, I’m doing it out of love for the subject, not in the hope of getting credentials. But there is no doubt that intellectual acumen and abilities, as well as freshness of spirit, decline past a certain age.
If you have what you consider to be your ‘life work’, start early. Teaching at a school is still ‘academic’ in nature, not like going out selling securities. You can keep up with your intellectual interests, even if not in a university setting. A PhD isn’t the be-all and end-all, and not going on to do one should not mean just throwing in the towel. This is a new beginning, not the end of your dreams. Don’t wait till you’re 60 to realise what you really love to do.
I am an ‘adult’ PhD student – worked for 20+ years in the industry before returning to school. By that time, I knew exactly who I was and why I was pursuing the field, I had very few “idealistic” views of the field (so fewer opportunities to be disappointed), and – while everything is a bit slower – I do enjoy myself a lot. I know many of the Masters students who feel conflicted and guilty (usually there is pressure from the professors, who are well intended) about not continuing. I always told them exactly that: finish your Masters, go out there, find a job, work a few years and I guarantee you that in 3-5 years you will know exactly if you want to come back or not.
I returned to do my PhD after 13 years in the workforce because I had identified an area in my field in need of research and knowledge translation. It was the worst decision of my entire career. Here are some things to consider:
1) Depending on what province you live in/study in, there are regulations which impact on how much work you’re allowed to do as a grad student. This, interacting with student loan policy and funding policies, can put you in a very precarious financial situation. For me, it meant having to divest myself of my home and investments before qualifying for student loans or violating the work policy regulations. I ended up selling my home, living on the equity for as far it could take me, while also violating the regulations around working (I feel they’re a human rights violation but won’t go into that right now). Now, I will never be able to afford to buy back into the market I was in and will take a while to build up a downpayment once again.
2) 4 or 5 years (let’s be honest, 4 years is the exception) of reduced opportunity to save and invest in a pension is a massive setback to one’s financial circumstances and has probably delayed my ability to retire significantly.
3) If you are in the public sector, so many jobs are unionized. If your program requires you to study full-time and your employer is unable to accommodate those hours, you will have to leave your job. Once you graduate, you will have higher credentials but since most unionized positions promote internally before posting jobs externally, the jobs are slim pickings. Faculty positions are in short supply and hard to achieve, often requiring multiple post-docs before your application is glanced at by a hiring committee.
If I could have done it over again, I would have done a second Masters degree, either an MBA or an MPA. Alternatively, I might have done a law degree. The reason for this is that they have direct applicability to the workforce, both public and private sector and those sectors are actually hiring. I know how to do research and how to present it from my first Masters degree. With an MPA or an MBA, I could have gotten into an executive position which allows me to oversee the kind of research I want to see done with the employer, while continuing to participate in the workforce.
Though I enrolled in and completed a PhD programmme (humanities, no bursary), I liked your testimony. After 7yrs of work as adjunct I’m plotting my course out of academiam. The point is what you get outside. I did a PhD because with a MA I couldn’t have more than occasional jobs, and now not even Amazon Italia is interested in my applications. It is not always easy and you might feel isolated and worthless, but you’re right on so many points.
I’m back playing music, volunteering and doing other things. I’m not poorer than before, but I have time. Too much sometimes.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for this peice.
Thanks a lot Ryan for sharing your story, this article is really interesting.
An excellent story of sharing of personal experience of life. For doing struggle in life one requires mental and physical strength along with defined goal in life. No work is small, but the work you choose must be as per your aptitude and liking. Success comes in life based on your determination, courage and faith in oneself.
The case study is an excellent sharing of personal experience of life, when one passes through various turbulent situations and finally finding the right goal in life !!
I am so glad that you shared this. Today I am in the same position as you. I have just graduated from A local university and I got admission into PhD Program. Covid has made me realize that things change in seconds. So I learn to value my health more than anything. Additionally, my family who love ❤️ faithfully and want to be with. I don’t even feel like take a job. I just want to flow and read more which I have never been able to. Thank you for sharing. You solved my dilemma.